Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tests

Ah, the hospital.

Believe it or not, St. Lennanon Hospital is not equipped to treat someone my size. But they tried.

First they brought in a pediatrics doctor. But I'm smaller than a baby. The world's smallest baby boy weighed 275 grams. I'm less than one-fourth of that.

So they brought in a veterinarian who specialized in exotic pets. Such as rats, mice, hamsters, and the like. Doctor Paolo (Paul) Coterrez.

Doctor Coterrez seemed to know what he was doing, as much as anyone could. He was young, and kind of cute, w/ long dark hair and large gentle brown eyes. The only thing really annoying was that he kept forgetting to talk to me. He talked about me to Lisa and to the other doctors and all, but I had to remind him constantly that I was A HUMAN BEING WHO IS ABLE TO TALK AND UNDERSTAND AND MAKE MY OWN DAMN DECISIONS!!

Actually, that wasn't the worst part. The worst was giving the urine and stool samples. I had to pee on a metal table, and they collected it w/ an eyedropper. They also tried to collect blood, using a very high gauge needle in my thigh, but they couldn't get as much as they wanted, even after several days.

They tested my sight and hearing. I already discussed how that one eye doctor freaked out, as if it were my fault that this happened, as if I did it deliberately as "an affront to God" (his words).

While I was getting tested Lisa contacted my parents, my sister Michelle, Thomas, and her agent.

I hadn't asked her to contact her agent. That was her own idea.

2 comments:

  1. Loss for words on this one Debby. Thank you for sharing.

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  2. Never been terribly fond of hospitals. Medicine has always seemed as much guess work as it is science to me. On the plus side, at least they didn't try and make you wear one of those ridiculous gowns that tie in the back. Who thought those up?

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